My daughter and I went for a walk at a small park called Majors Park in East Aurora, New York. It was a pretty dull day in late winter. The path in the park winds around this big old barn. When I saw this barn for the first time, I thought of all the many different things that could be done with it. In my mind, I was fixing it up and making it into an art gallery, with a living space and tons of storage. Maybe a wall of windows on the south side for a large studio space with tons of natural light. So many ideas. Such potential.
I came back a few days later to paint . It was cold, the wind was blowing, and my feet felt frozen even with boots and thick wool socks. I very quickly painted some outlines and dark areas with some burnt umber and oil. But as I looked at it more and more, I got sadder and sadder. At some point, this must have been a thriving farm to have such a big barn. A farmer and family lived here at some point with cows and horses. People would have walked into the warm barn in the early mornings and fed the animals, shoveled the manure, and let the animals out. Kids probably jumped in the hay loft and threw snowballs at each other, (maybe even at Dad!)
It is lonely now. Empty. The fences are mostly fallen down. It doesn’t look like there have been any animals in this barn for a very long time. At one point it was the central part of the farm, now it is just there. Sad even with the bright blue sky.
The grey winter day probably did have a lot to do with the sadness I saw. My Life is a lot like this picture. At one point I knew what my 8 kids were doing every day. The house was messy and noisy. My home now is quiet, very quiet. I can go months without hearing from the kids. I don’t really know what is happening in their every day lives. Seasons of life change. This barn still could be used for a lot of different things. My life is not over, there will be different opportunities ahead. My life has a lot of potential. I know who holds the future, ( my Savior Jesus Christ) and I trust his plan for me is best!